It's been awhile. I write my thoughts in my head and know that someday we will have the technology for me to write my blogs while I am away from my computer and they will just be there for me.
Life has been very interesting. I am still struggling with Lindsay being gone. The worst is my long car rides to and from work. I have a lot of time to debrief the day and just think, which gets me very emotional. I can only imagine what the cars passing me by think when they see me crying. I keep hoping that it will get better, but it is hard. That was always my time to talk with her and although I have others I could call, she was my call. I miss her. I have days where I think maybe I need to go see a therapist or maybe I need medicine. I know to just keep praying about this and know God has a plan. I know I will get an answer of, "Why?" someday, just not today or tomorrow. Someday. It also doesn't help that I have a brand-new baby, Paul is not working, my job is CRAZY, I have a three year old, and life. Life is just crazy. Then top it off with my loss of Lindsay and my crazy hormones. Can you see how much of a wreck I am? Poor Paul. He gets the brunt of all my emotions. I don't mean to. I just am trying to deal with and shoulder a lot right now. I know time will help heal wounds, but it hurts.
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