Lindsay

As I got the call that Lindsay was in the hospital, I never could have expected the outcome. I have lost my best friend of 17 years. I will never see her again. I struggle with this. I see her face and hear her bubbly voice all day long especially in the middle of the night and in my dreams. I don't know when this will get easy for me. I know she is in heaven but I still hurt. I hurt for Joe and especially Evan. That beautiful boy she left behind who will grow up not knowing his mother. I kept hoping and praying she would "wake up" (that's what we kept telling her when we would see her), but God had other plans for her. I kept thinking who am I going to call with my good news and my bad news. Yes, I have family, but she was my best friend. She was the person I would talk with on the way home from work or we would plan phone appointments during lunch time. We were suppose to share time together with our babies. They were suppose to grow up together. I am going to have to work so hard to keep in contact with Joe and make sure that I am in Evan's life. Lindsay would want that. Rees is suppose to know Evan as is Evan is suppose to know Rees. Knowing she is in heaven is my only calm in this terrible situation.